David Arquette is laid up in an emergency room right now after he turned his Cadillac's steering wheel a little to the left and crashed right into oncoming traffic. TMZ has the pictures of David lying face up in the grass if that's what you need to see before happy hour.
A witness tells TMZ that David was right behind a car that hit their brakes all of a sudden. David must've not heard my mom when she screamed VEER RIGHT! VEER RIGHT! ALWAYS! during our driving lessons, because he went the opposite direction and bashed right into another car.
David's rep tells People that he's doing "fine" and is in the hospital to really make sure he's fine.
No word if everybody in the other car is okay. As they say, this shit is developing (but I know you're already throwing a "bring out the breathalyzer" look)...
UPDATE: David is well enough to operate a BlackBerry, because he Tweeted this an hour later: "Remember to wear your seatbelt-wish I was. I got into a car accident but I'm fine. Luckily I have dragon's blood running through my veins. Haha Thank you for all your concern."